Zhangjiajie, Part VI

The young man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with that strange expression that one sees on the faces of those who are absorbed in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He had taken the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so.
"What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded shrill and curious in his ears.
"Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in his hand, "you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my good looks."

A quote from Dorian Gray on hedonism probably seems jarringly out of place here, but at the same time it resonates curiously with everything I adore about travelling; the beauty of places and people, the transience, the temporality, and the tenacious hold that reality has on us all. I am still numb, still incapable of unleashing total catharsis; but this limbo will have to do for now. It's not enough; it never is.

Our third day was spent all day in the hostel as it was simply pouring with rain. The water came down literally in buckets; it was as if the sky had split open. Usually I like the rain, and even now, with it coming down and completely ruining any chance we had of going up to the park, I liked it. I liked being able to stay in the hostel room, enjoying the freezing cold air conditioning and the free movies on the TV. Pris and I watched Xmen First Class, which was rather apt as we'd watched Apocalypse together as well, not so long ago. I love that movie, but I dozed on and off - it was so comfortable in those billowy, pristine white sheets and the icy cold air.

After a morning of lazing around in our room, we decided to go downstairs and socialise with the other hostel travellers, who were similarly stranded. Another of those serendipitous afternoons then; talking book and lives and experiences away, attempting to cram a lifetime into an afternoon.

I want to write more but I'm numb again, and a little sad.

The fourth day dawned, and the weather was far better than it had been on the third day, but such was our lot. We had a rather bittersweet parting with the dear little landlady and her son the landlord, and we said we hoped we'd see each other again, but I think we all knew that the chances were slim at best. Nevertheless, you'll always have a place in my heart.

Trip to the airport was comfortable and uneventful, and we got through customs without any trouble. Mooched around in the airport lounge waiting for our flight, tried to spend the change we had left on us, and thought our own thoughts.

Adios? Adios for now.



I miss this, but most of all I miss the person I am when I'm travelling.

Zhangjiajie, Part V

Once again, I've committed my usual gaffe of leaving it far too late, and as a result all those precious feelings and thoughts have been diluted anon and again. I'm still trying to salvage it, it's only been two weeks, but those memories will never be as bright as they were, that exhausted exhilarated afternoon I stepped off the aeroplane.

Lots of things have been happening with me and my life, some of which are probably slightly too personal to share here, but suffice it say that it's been a hectic week and a half during which questionable, but ultimately unregretted choices were made - because that's not the sort of person I am. One event of note which I will endeavor to mention here was the by now infamous EU referendum, which resolved itself in a very close vote to break away from the matrix of the European Union after 4 decades of oft-turbulent marriage. I have to say that I - and the rest of the world - am rather surprised by the results, but democracy at its finest is what I shall say about it. I have spent the better half of the afternoon reading both sides of the argument, and it's already reached the point of no return, so full speed ahead I say.

This is going to be a bit of a pictures entry. Another look at the vendors.

And some more spectacular rock formations and accompanying foliage:

This probably sounds slightly ridiculous, but the more I look back on this trip, the more I feel that the high point was the food. Oh, the food! I ADORED the food to bits, I was in seventh heaven. I do like Taiwanese food, of curse, but the food here was simply phenomenal, and I'm not lying when I say that the food, the spicy, piping hot, generously portioned food made much more of an impression on me than any of of the rearing karst formations, stalactites or stalagmites ever did.

We went back to the hostel, and went past a rather natty restaurant which said it sold Northeastern food. I said to Pris, well doesn't that look nice - I think I see dinner! She agreed, as she's much of a foodie as I am, and we sallied in, feeling very pleased with ourselves, and as ever proceeded to order far too much food for the two of us.

We proceeded to stagger back to the hostel, feeling incredibly stuffed, talking about horoscopes the entire way. It's official, I'm loca, and she probably is as well, but loca is as loca does.

One last look at the restaurant..

And back to our beloved hostel it is.

Zhangjiajie, Part IV

I did a quick inventory of my pictures and have come to the conclusion that I will need to write three more entries for Zhangjiajie. Any more and any less would be either too bulky or stretched out too thin.

I was reading an email from Jason that he sent me several weeks ago, and one sentence that really leapt out at me was, “Let’s all go out and get pissed.” I need this, more than anything else - I need to go out and get well and truly drunk and pissed, to drown my sorrows and frustrations and everything else I’m not wholly happy with, in the sweet, momentary oblivion of cheap alcohol. I need this and that to happen.

Maybe it’s the fact that I only got about 4 hours sleep last night, but I am in a shitty mood today. Can’t get my dander up to do anything At All. I regret being a fool and I regret saying a load of shit and accidentally revealing too much of myself to someone whom I don’t even know that well. Am I cursed to wear my mask forever? Though it’s not so much of a curse as it is.. defensive mechanism. I don't like getting too close to people, letting people get too close to me. Most people wear me out.
I’m sick of the pretentiousness, the preening, the stupid, vapid, fake valley girl accents - look at me, look at me! I yearn for Europe. When I was younger, if I wanted something hard enough, I got it. I probably need to visualize myself in Europe again. In Europe, no one would even think that your life was boring for reading and attending international events. Completely the opposite, in fact. Nadia shared a sentence with me not so long ago - “if you’re the smartest person in a room, then you’re in the wrong room.” I miss my year in Europe, when I could properly articulate my thoughts and feelings, and those of others, into eloquent words and tangible arrangements. The ventriloquist’d, I once said; we are all plugged into the  Matrix, forced to conform to its stifling uniformity. Everyone was much simpler when we were younger, when we had less to lose. I feel that I have less to lose now than I did when I was younger. Every day I live in fear of aging; now I understand it, this obsession with mortality and staying young. Ask yourself truly; would you do as Elisabeth Bathory did, if that was what had to be done to retain everlasting youth? I probably would. The battle against time starts now, and we must fight the long defeat.

I am not entirely sure what I’m doing with my life and where I want this to go. I need a plan B. I can’t wing it like Rowling. Of course it’s easy to say that when you’ve achieved her degree of success. I, I’m only mortal, and bound by my worldly constraints. Boundaries that you’ve set down for yourself, say the self-help articles; the only person stopping you from achieving what you want is yourself. The sky’s the limit, they say. And yet I hate flying, with a deep and burning passion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that people do and will have an opinion about you, whatever you do, whenever and wherever you are. And I’ve come to find that I would much rather be opined on and criticized by smart people, than by dumb people.

Things I need to do: I need to properly reread Mrs. Dalloway and rediscover that which has been all but lost. I’ve lost my eloquence of old; I flounder in mediocre, internet writing. I live in perpetual terror of losing what I have left, and cling desperately to the vestiges of my old identity.

Another look at the vendors, and their delleeeecious fried potatoes. YUM, I could eat those all day.

Did a bit of - well, actually a lot of walking, but most of it was downhill, so.

We then went on this truly terrifying cable car ride down to the bottom of the mountains. It wasn't rollercoaster scary, but more along the lines of flight phobia and a little bit of claustrophobia. It's very unnerving to think that you're being dangled several thousand metres above ground and that those ropes and machinery and steel are all that's preventing you from plummeting to a messy death. Pris and I were both on edge and barely had the heart to appreciate the wonderful scenery. Nevertheless, I still managed to get a fair number of pictures in - rather good pictures too, now that I look at them.

Out from the cable car now, and here's one last look at Zhangjiajie. For reasons I will expound upon in later entries, we only went for this one day.

And a hilariously misspelt sign.

Zhangjiajie, Part III

I meant to finish this today, and for a moment there I really thought I could, but then nostalgia caught up with me and I spent the better half of the evening watching Kpop and Jpop music videos from 2005-2009. That was really the golden era of KJ, in my opinion at least. When I was watching the Tokyo live performance given by TVXQ - their swan song, their own "last live" - it was very emotional, seeing all five of them up there. As always, I enjoy the fact that three of the 5 TVXQs are Aquariui, and that my favourite Yongwoon JJ and I literally share the same birthday. Isn't that nice!

But yes, that. They don't make them like they used to. I wondered whilst I was watching those music videos, what makes the things from our youth so beautiful, so time capsuled; and again, it's the fact that those days will never come again, and that everything seemed simpler when we were younger. Back then it felt like the days stretched on endlessly (sometimes in a bad way, sometimes good), and that we would never grow old or run out of time. The ventriloquist'd, I once said; things seemed much simpler then. Finding these fragments from the past, reclaiming, even if only for short while, what once was.

This is mainly going to be a picture entry, but I will annotate this by saying that this is the part where we went to see the Avatar valley - the Qian kun pillars, as they were called. Loads of people, as always.

Below, a seemingly endess oasis.

There was a little metal bridge, rather similar to the Marienbrucke in Neuschwanstein, where we could view the Pillar.

A giant metal bird commemorating the Avatar scene.

And a weathered plaque calling the pillar by its rightful name: 乾坤住.

A resting area that had vendors and food stalls and benches. We got our hot potatoes here, and can I just say YUM.

More food stalls, though now we come to a different part of the park.

A blissfully tourist - free area.

And an adorable little monkey. The park was full of these little critters.

Moar pictures - yes, I don't think I'll be able to finish this series tonight, it's already past midnight and I have to work tomorrow.

To be continued..