The young man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with that strange expression that one sees on the faces of those who are absorbed in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He had taken the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so.
"What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded shrill and curious in his ears.
"Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in his hand, "you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my good looks."
A quote from Dorian Gray on hedonism probably seems jarringly out of place here, but at the same time it resonates curiously with everything I adore about travelling; the beauty of places and people, the transience, the temporality, and the tenacious hold that reality has on us all. I am still numb, still incapable of unleashing total catharsis; but this limbo will have to do for now. It's not enough; it never is.
Our third day was spent all day in the hostel as it was simply pouring with rain. The water came down literally in buckets; it was as if the sky had split open. Usually I like the rain, and even now, with it coming down and completely ruining any chance we had of going up to the park, I liked it. I liked being able to stay in the hostel room, enjoying the freezing cold air conditioning and the free movies on the TV. Pris and I watched Xmen First Class, which was rather apt as we'd watched Apocalypse together as well, not so long ago. I love that movie, but I dozed on and off - it was so comfortable in those billowy, pristine white sheets and the icy cold air.
After a morning of lazing around in our room, we decided to go downstairs and socialise with the other hostel travellers, who were similarly stranded. Another of those serendipitous afternoons then; talking book and lives and experiences away, attempting to cram a lifetime into an afternoon.
I want to write more but I'm numb again, and a little sad.
The fourth day dawned, and the weather was far better than it had been on the third day, but such was our lot. We had a rather bittersweet parting with the dear little landlady and her son the landlord, and we said we hoped we'd see each other again, but I think we all knew that the chances were slim at best. Nevertheless, you'll always have a place in my heart.
Trip to the airport was comfortable and uneventful, and we got through customs without any trouble. Mooched around in the airport lounge waiting for our flight, tried to spend the change we had left on us, and thought our own thoughts.
Adios? Adios for now.
I miss this, but most of all I miss the person I am when I'm travelling.
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